Grace On Rainbow

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

There is a sign that I bought a little while back that sits on top of our refrigerator; it simply reads . . .

God's Timing is Always Perfect

I loved the sign simply because it puts into words what I most often forget . . . It is God's timing not mine. I have stood back and wondered what God was doing, why wasn't He listening, and if he was listening then why wasn't He moving. What I didn't understand, or chose to forget, during those times is that His ways are higher and not my ways.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
Isaiah 55:8-11

You see, no matter what we are facing in life, if we will remain faithful to God and trust Him better than we trust ourselves, His word will never return void. Even if His will is not our desire, He will still give us the grace and humility to accept it, if we allow Him to.

Looking back over the years I can now see how God's timing has been perfect in everything in our lives.

From Bobby and I meeting
- to our marriage
- to our struggle with infertility
- to the birth of our son and daughter
- to job changes
- to the accident
- to fostering
- to the boys going home
- to getting the boys back
- to test results

In all of this God has been listening and moving in our lives. We didn't always see it then, but now we know He has never left us and what an amazing reminder to know that if He has never left us through all of that - He will never leave us through all that is to come. So now we trust Him for one more thing . . .

God is an amazing God and even after 8 years of trusting and trying to see His plan, He has remained faithful and allowed us to once again rejoice in the waiting of our new little blessing. Thank you God for your perfect and unspeakable love.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

In My Husbands Words . . . .

My beloved husband said it so perfectly, so I will simply copy the e-mail that he sent to our Sunday School class.


Lisa and I wanted to pass on a praise to our amazing God, the Creator of
all things, and a thank you to everyone that prayed and has been praying
for us over the past couple weeks. Lisa had a biopsy done a week and a
half ago and there was a slight chance that it could be cancer. That
coupled with her family's history of cancer made her at a higher risk. It
was a time that we both went through something that we had never
experienced before and because of that our eyes are more open and our
hearts are more tender of what people go through that are "waiting." It
was a scary time, but we knew that God was working. Yesterday during her
follow-up visit the doctor read the pathology report to us and gave her a
clean bill of health.

How thankful we are to a merciful God that was gracious enough to allow us
to understand and have more compassion, while at the same time blessing us
with a cancer-free report. God you are so good. Friends you are truly
amazing and your prayers are so important to us. So from the bottom of
our hearts, thank you so much and we pray that God will bless you and your

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let
patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting
nothing." James 1:2-4

Bob and Lisa

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Case Closed....

Today our boys are "officially" back with their mommy.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6

The "What-If's" of Life . . .

Are there any among the vanities of the Gentiles that can cause rain? or can the heavens give showers? art not thou he, O LORD our God? therefore we will wait upon thee: for thou hast made all these things.
Jeremiah 14:22

Do you know for me some of the hardest situations to get through in my life have not been the trials themselves, but rather the unstoppable fear and doubt that creep into my mind and even my heart. One minute I am praising God for who He is and how much He has blessed me and then my mind wonders to all of the "what if's" of life and fear begins to take over. Just today I was thanking Him for the unmeasurable grace that He continues to show me and then I began to fear the "what if's" of life.

These past few weeks I have been thinking a lot of a young mother/wife from our church who lost her battle to cancer a little while back. I truly can say that I never gave it much thought because I was so distant from it, other than politely asking how she was and sitting and talking with her when time allowed. However, now that I have become a little more personal to the word "cancer", I have been thinking a lot about her and what her life was like those last few months.

As we await the biopsy results, I wonder what it must have been like for her and her husband to sit across from the doctor time and time again with yet another suggested treatment or test result. As a wife I would think one of the hardest things to do would be to look at my husband and know that I would not share another day with him . . . I would not hear of his day, or get to enjoy the way he holds my hand, or to lie next to him and have our quite talks in bed. I watch my children and think, what if I don't get to see them grow up and have families of their own . . . what if I'm not here when my daughter "needs" her mommy? How is my son going to know what kind of woman he should marry?

She must have thought about all those things . . . and yet she still remained faithful to God. It's not that I fear the results of the's more that I fear the results of what could happen from the test. I want to see my husband grow old and hold hands with him when we are 90, I want to see my son grow up to be the strong godly leader I know he will be, I want to help my daughter pick out her wedding dress and watch as she brings her first child into this world. I want all of that and more and yet I know that I have no more control over all of that than I do the results of the test.

That is when God brings me unmeasurable grace. In those moments when life gets burdensome and I want all MY wants . . . He gently reminds me that even if my wants are not His wants - He still will remain faithful and I can forever lean on His strength. . . . that is unmeasurable grace!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Life Changes Once Again . . .

This past year has been a great journey for our family and to me personally. God has shown me areas in my personal and spiritual life that I was holding onto and would not release to Him. Areas of anger, disappointment, fear, selfishness . . . areas that I alone wanted to be in control of, but quickly realized the more I tried to control the more out of control I felt.

Today marks yet another season in our lives. Today we officially closed our fostering license. We have been praying about where God would lead us next for several months - wondering if He would open the doors for more children - if we were to just look at adoption - if we were to be involved in other areas within this ministry? The questions seemed to continue to pile up and I was once again trying to rely on my own judgement and reasoning for the answers. Then over the past couple weeks God has brought different situations in our lives to reassure us that for this time in our life, we need to focus on serving Him through the families of our church and through our own children. By allowing Him to direct us in this decision . . . I have complete peace. I know that no matter what happens in this life, I can always turn to God for direction and strength.

We are so blessed to be able to still be a part of our little guys' lives and the life of their mother. It truly is an amazing thing to look back and see God's hand at work in our lives and in theirs.

So with all of this comes yet another path to walk with God and for me to trust completely in His plan for my life and the lives of my family. I cannot say that it was an easy decision to make, but I am thankful beyond words that He has allowed it to be a peaceful decision.

In His Service,

Monday, June 20, 2011

God you are so amazing...

Just one post ago I was wanting to hold my boys....God you are so amazing because not only did you save my sinful also gave me the desires of my heart. This past Friday I got a call asking if we would watch the boys overnight ....Thank you God for your continued love I am beyond humbled to be a child of the one true King...and Yes we got to love and squeeze three amazing little boys once again.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

One of Those Days. . .

I know that God sees my tears and feels the pain that unexpectedly grips my heart. I know He feels the longing I have to hold our boys again. I know all of this . . . and yet sometimes it is still so difficult for me to accept His plan. . . . yet I will continue to trust Him even when I do not know where that trust will lead because I know that following Him on an unknown path is far better than trying to forge my own path.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Falling Short . . .

I am trying to see God's grace through this time but to be honest it is very difficult and I feel like I am failing most of the time. I want to rejoice in this trial, but how do I stop my heart from crying out for my boys? I want my little guys back to give me just one more hug . . . to hear them running to the door yelling "Daddy's home!" . . . to see them dancing and spinning with their "Sissy" . . . to hear them flying planes through the house with their "Wah-Wah". I want to see my baby take his first step and to taste his 1st birthday cake this Friday. I want him to wake me up one more night . . . . Just one more night . . .

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Waiting . . .

I think this is the most difficult part of any trial that God leads you through . . . the waiting. Waiting on His timing . . . leading . . . direction . . . and resting in the fact that tomorrow the sun with rise and by His grace alone you will be able to rejoice in yet another day.

I heard back from the lawyer and he is hoping to hear from the judge tomorrow regarding his decision about permissive placement. Part of me wants so desperately just to know and move forward and a bigger part of me just wants this time to stand still and hold onto them forever.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psalm 143:8

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A New Path . . .

I have struggled as to whether I wanted to write about this and I have actually started other posts, but couldn't finish them, but I want this time in my life to be a time when I rejoice in what God is doing not what I wanted Him to do.

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:1-5

11 months ago on July 17, 2010 we received 3 amazing little guys into our lives. It was followed by much fear, tears, laughter, hugs, kisses, crying, and patience. It was a time in our lives that God used to show us areas in our own lives that we were failing at, and still are, and a time for our family to be challenged. I watched my two AMAZING children step up and sacrifice their time, space, and parents to give to 3 little boys who needed us for a season in their life. I watched a 3 year old look up to my son as the big brother he needed in his life. I watched my daughter become "little mommy" and change diapers, feed bottles, and kiss boo-boos. Were their struggles - most definitely, but God once again showed His mercy and grace and we began to see not just 3 lives changing, but 7 lives being molded and shaped by God's own hands.

But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Isaiah 64:8

When we began the fostering/adoption journey, I realized that just like not being in control of having our own biological children, I was no more in control of what would happen at the end of this path. People have often told us that they could never foster because they could never give them back, but now as this path comes to an end, I could not imagine not walking down it - not being their for 3 slobbery, running nose, precious, amazing little guys.

And now as we journey through this final week I think . . . did I love them enough, did I take enough time with them, will they remember this time, can I let them go because as much as I know that they were only ours for a few precious moments, there is still a very real part of me that cries out "these are my boys and I don't want to let them go." Yet once again God's unimaginable love shines through and I realize that no matter what tomorrow brings, He is and will always be faithful to me today. So I will grab every hug, cherish every kiss, remember every "I love you mommy", and pray with more fervor that He will change the life of a mother who will be receiving the most precious gift she could ever hope to get - another chance at being these little guys' mommy.

Today in junior church (Noah is in our class - what a lucky kid right?) we asked for prayer requests and my son's prayer request was that his mom would not be sad this week as the boys go home and that I wont cry too much . . . my sweet, amazing, loving boy - I cannot promise there will be no tears, but I will try to rejoice in what God has done in our lives these past 11 months.