Grace On Rainbow

Sunday, September 2, 2012

One Day can Change a Life Forever

There are those days in our lives when we look back and they define where our lives go from there.  I have had many of those days in my life.  Sometimes, I feel too many.  However I would not change or remove any of those times because I would not be where I am and who I am today if it were not for each one of them.  

May 16, 2012 was one of those days.  I remember sitting in the hospital room waiting for Bobby to get back from taking our "little guys" to school.  It was just me and Will - one of those rare moments I knew I would not get many of.  It was hard to believe that less than 24 hours ago, he had been turning and kicking inside my tummy.  I was already missing that part, but I was also excited to see what God had in-store for this little guy.  

As I sat there, I remember looking down at him as he was lying next to me on the hospital bed and for a split second I thought, "He looks like he has Downs".  It was his neck.. . it looked so "thick" and then something with his eyes. A moment of fear gripped my heart, but then I realized how foolish it was - he looked just like Avery did . . . narrow face, almost bald, and skinny long arms.  When Bobby came in a few hours later, he was holding Will and I noticed it again.  I said, "Don't take this wrong, but I think he looks like a Downs baby."  "No, he looks just like Avery"  he said.  Nothing more was said . . . not another thought was given. 

A few hours later Will was taken off to do his "procedure".  A luxury little girls do not have to endure :-)  Bobby's mom and dad had gotten to the hospital with Noah and were waiting for him to be brought back to the room.  The doctor came wheeling him in and he was sound asleep . . . our amazing miracle . . . our answer to a 9 year prayer.  Then the doctor said that she would like to discuss some things with us and asked if we wanted Bob's parents in the room.  Not giving it much thought, we nodded, after all we have had a little boy before and knew what to expect.  She first began telling us that everything went well with the "procedure" and that they had given him some Tylenol so he would be pretty sleeping.  Then she did something unexpected.  She reached over and laid her hand on top of mine which was resting on Will's bassinet.  My heart sank.  There was something wrong. 

"I want to talk to you about some things that I noticed during his examination" she began.  She proceeded to tell us of all these signs . . .  a straight crease across one of his hands, the slight almond shape of his eyes, the top of one of his ears that was bent over, the pinky that curved in, the low muscle tone.  "These are all indications of Down Syndrome.  Did you suspect anything during your pregnancy?"  I shook my head. 

I don't know if you have ever been at a place in your life when it seems time truly stands still and you are faced with a horrible unknown darkness.  This moment was one of those moments.  I looked up at Bobby whose face was stoic and unchanging.  I knew he was trying to take it all in just as I was.  I told her about what I had mentioned to Bobby earlier that morning and I began to feel the tears coming.  I didn't want to cry.  I wouldn't cry.  I remember seeing my mother-in-law out of the corner of my eye and was wondering what they were thinking.  Down Syndrome. . . how could God give us a child with Down Syndrome?  

The doctor finished by letting us know that they could not be sure unless they did a chromosome analysis - so blood work was done and sent off and the waiting began.  

Test after test . .. hearing test, EKG, echo cardiogram, another hearing test, oxygen level test, temperature after temperature, another hearing test.  Through it all he was such a content little guy who hardly made a noise.  

I remember sitting in the hospital room crying every time I would look at him.  Maybe they were wrong . . . he did look like Avery and she doesn't have Down Syndrome.  My hopes would rise because I didn't always see it.  Maybe they were mistake.  Nurses came in and talked to us, sharing information about Down Syndrome . . . about organizations that we could talk to . . . about First Steps and early intervention . . . and I felt myself getting angry.  Why is everyone treating him like he has Downs.  We haven't even gotten the test results back.  I remember wanting to scream "There is still a possibility that they are wrong and he doesn't have it and I'm not giving up that hope." 

Bobby wrote Romans 12:2 on the white board in my room. . . 

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I was and am so thankful for God's word because when you are in the midst of a trial it is sometimes, often times, the only truth that you can cling to.  Will was not ours, but God's and God's will for our life is perfect . . . just as Will is perfect.  Yet, it was still difficult to remember that at times.      

We went home with lots of information, appointments, and contacts.  

Those first few days were so difficult.  I wanted to find out everything I could about Down Syndrome, what was his life going to be like "if he had it"?  What were we suppose to do next? There were just too many unanswered questions.  Yet here is were information can be costly.  Sometimes we look for answers in the pages of the internet instead of the pages of God's word.  Down Syndrome, like so many other things, has such a wide scope.  No two cases are exactly the same.  Yet, we begin to obsess over information until we find the answers and sometimes those answers are not what we want to hear.  I began to grieve for Will and the life he wouldn't have as I read all the "statistics".  He would never father children, he will have a shorter life expectancy, he may become deaf . . . on and on I searched.  Until I realized that by grieving for what Will wouldn't have I never could rejoice for what he does and will have.  God created him perfectly and in His image to say that Will was less than that was to say that God was mistaken in His plan for Will.  

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right.
Psalm 139:14

A few days later our pediatrician called to let us know about some other lab work that had been drawn and was hopeful that we should receive the results from the chromosome analysis in a week or so.  However, once again God had another plan. Bob walked into our bedroom where I was sitting feeding Will and I knew there was something, another one of those moments.  I sat there saying a praying, "Dear God, let me accept whatever he is going to tell me.  I know that you are in charge of our lives.  God give me the strength that I need to hear these words."  

"The doctor called me.  She got the results from Will's test and he does have Downs".  Tears just flowed.  I couldn't stop them.  I knew in my heart that he did.  I knew from the first moment I thought it, but now it was my reality.  It was a reality that I didn't want to truly face.   He continued on, "He has the most common  Downs, Trisomy 21."  Tears continued to flow.  "This is  your Will God . . . he is yours."  I said over and over in my mind.  I don't know if I was trying to convince myself of this or if I just needed to keep saying it to remind myself of its truth.  Bobby and I prayed together . . . I found we would do this a lot over the next few months.  Now we had to tell the kids. . .

Monday, March 5, 2012

Slowing Down (A Bit) . . .

Well today God reminded me yet again that each day is accomplished according to His plan and not my own. There is so much "stuff" that I think I need to check off on my to-do-lists . . .

1) Taking care of the kiddos
2) Homeschooling
3) Packing our life in brown boxes
4) Painting
5) House projects
6) Trying to get ready for new house
7) Music Lessons
8) Visitation Appointments

On and on my list goes . . . much like yours I'm sure. Yet the truth of the matter is, we are no more in control of our daily lives and to-do-lists then we are of the planet's rotation or the stars in the heavens. So often I forget that I need to trust God even with planning out my daily to-do's and trust that even if they are not my plans, they are far greater because they are His plans.

This evening my dear and loving husband spent the evening holding my hand and encouraging me as we laid in a hospital bed listening to the precious sound of our son's heartbeat and the not so precious sound of him kicking the monitors and my tummy :-) For the past few weeks, I have been having contractions (not such a good thing at only 28 weeks). After talking with the nurse and since this is the second time they have been like this, we decided that it would be best to go in and have them monitor everything. Well a few hours later and a few, not so fun, tests - I am happy to be in my own bed, with my own warm quilts, and a pillow that doesn't feel like a piece of paper. The good news is that I have not begun to dilate yet - the not so good news . . . still having contractions, but at the hospital they were every 2 to 3 minutes apart and now they are about 5 to 6 minutes. I have to rest tonight and then if I am still having contractions tomorrow will go in to see my regular doctor to see what we need to do next. Definitely not my plan for this week, but who am I but a servant of God to use in His perfect plan the way that He deems fit.

I am thankful that God reminds us of His sovereignty, and yet still shows His great mercy and love. We are blessed beyond words to once again be honored with the privileged of being parents, and I praise God for His timing and His to-do lists. I am also very thankful for friends who are willing to step up on a moments notice and take care of 5 wacky and crazy kids along with their own. God has truly blessed us with some very special and loving people in our lives.

May each of us look at our daily to-do-lists and remember that no matter what we have planned, we need to trust God for what He has planned.

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

Thursday, January 26, 2012

22 Weeks and Counting!

This is more for the "grandmas" but here is our belly shot at 22 weeks. I am still so amazed and blessed by God giving us another child. I really did not know how Noah and Avery would react when we told them, but they have been "WAY" excited since day one. Avery loves to rub my belly and give the baby lots of kisses. She always tells him, "I love you . . . even if you are a boy." (cracks me up) Bobby has officially names him "Thumper" as he is quite the little active guy. I thought Avery was bad, but I do believe that this little guy has out done even her.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

There is a sign that I bought a little while back that sits on top of our refrigerator; it simply reads . . .

God's Timing is Always Perfect

I loved the sign simply because it puts into words what I most often forget . . . It is God's timing not mine. I have stood back and wondered what God was doing, why wasn't He listening, and if he was listening then why wasn't He moving. What I didn't understand, or chose to forget, during those times is that His ways are higher and not my ways.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
Isaiah 55:8-11

You see, no matter what we are facing in life, if we will remain faithful to God and trust Him better than we trust ourselves, His word will never return void. Even if His will is not our desire, He will still give us the grace and humility to accept it, if we allow Him to.

Looking back over the years I can now see how God's timing has been perfect in everything in our lives.

From Bobby and I meeting
- to our marriage
- to our struggle with infertility
- to the birth of our son and daughter
- to job changes
- to the accident
- to fostering
- to the boys going home
- to getting the boys back
- to test results

In all of this God has been listening and moving in our lives. We didn't always see it then, but now we know He has never left us and what an amazing reminder to know that if He has never left us through all of that - He will never leave us through all that is to come. So now we trust Him for one more thing . . .

God is an amazing God and even after 8 years of trusting and trying to see His plan, He has remained faithful and allowed us to once again rejoice in the waiting of our new little blessing. Thank you God for your perfect and unspeakable love.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

In My Husbands Words . . . .

My beloved husband said it so perfectly, so I will simply copy the e-mail that he sent to our Sunday School class.


Lisa and I wanted to pass on a praise to our amazing God, the Creator of
all things, and a thank you to everyone that prayed and has been praying
for us over the past couple weeks. Lisa had a biopsy done a week and a
half ago and there was a slight chance that it could be cancer. That
coupled with her family's history of cancer made her at a higher risk. It
was a time that we both went through something that we had never
experienced before and because of that our eyes are more open and our
hearts are more tender of what people go through that are "waiting." It
was a scary time, but we knew that God was working. Yesterday during her
follow-up visit the doctor read the pathology report to us and gave her a
clean bill of health.

How thankful we are to a merciful God that was gracious enough to allow us
to understand and have more compassion, while at the same time blessing us
with a cancer-free report. God you are so good. Friends you are truly
amazing and your prayers are so important to us. So from the bottom of
our hearts, thank you so much and we pray that God will bless you and your

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let
patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting
nothing." James 1:2-4

Bob and Lisa

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Case Closed....

Today our boys are "officially" back with their mommy.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6

The "What-If's" of Life . . .

Are there any among the vanities of the Gentiles that can cause rain? or can the heavens give showers? art not thou he, O LORD our God? therefore we will wait upon thee: for thou hast made all these things.
Jeremiah 14:22

Do you know for me some of the hardest situations to get through in my life have not been the trials themselves, but rather the unstoppable fear and doubt that creep into my mind and even my heart. One minute I am praising God for who He is and how much He has blessed me and then my mind wonders to all of the "what if's" of life and fear begins to take over. Just today I was thanking Him for the unmeasurable grace that He continues to show me and then I began to fear the "what if's" of life.

These past few weeks I have been thinking a lot of a young mother/wife from our church who lost her battle to cancer a little while back. I truly can say that I never gave it much thought because I was so distant from it, other than politely asking how she was and sitting and talking with her when time allowed. However, now that I have become a little more personal to the word "cancer", I have been thinking a lot about her and what her life was like those last few months.

As we await the biopsy results, I wonder what it must have been like for her and her husband to sit across from the doctor time and time again with yet another suggested treatment or test result. As a wife I would think one of the hardest things to do would be to look at my husband and know that I would not share another day with him . . . I would not hear of his day, or get to enjoy the way he holds my hand, or to lie next to him and have our quite talks in bed. I watch my children and think, what if I don't get to see them grow up and have families of their own . . . what if I'm not here when my daughter "needs" her mommy? How is my son going to know what kind of woman he should marry?

She must have thought about all those things . . . and yet she still remained faithful to God. It's not that I fear the results of the's more that I fear the results of what could happen from the test. I want to see my husband grow old and hold hands with him when we are 90, I want to see my son grow up to be the strong godly leader I know he will be, I want to help my daughter pick out her wedding dress and watch as she brings her first child into this world. I want all of that and more and yet I know that I have no more control over all of that than I do the results of the test.

That is when God brings me unmeasurable grace. In those moments when life gets burdensome and I want all MY wants . . . He gently reminds me that even if my wants are not His wants - He still will remain faithful and I can forever lean on His strength. . . . that is unmeasurable grace!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Life Changes Once Again . . .

This past year has been a great journey for our family and to me personally. God has shown me areas in my personal and spiritual life that I was holding onto and would not release to Him. Areas of anger, disappointment, fear, selfishness . . . areas that I alone wanted to be in control of, but quickly realized the more I tried to control the more out of control I felt.

Today marks yet another season in our lives. Today we officially closed our fostering license. We have been praying about where God would lead us next for several months - wondering if He would open the doors for more children - if we were to just look at adoption - if we were to be involved in other areas within this ministry? The questions seemed to continue to pile up and I was once again trying to rely on my own judgement and reasoning for the answers. Then over the past couple weeks God has brought different situations in our lives to reassure us that for this time in our life, we need to focus on serving Him through the families of our church and through our own children. By allowing Him to direct us in this decision . . . I have complete peace. I know that no matter what happens in this life, I can always turn to God for direction and strength.

We are so blessed to be able to still be a part of our little guys' lives and the life of their mother. It truly is an amazing thing to look back and see God's hand at work in our lives and in theirs.

So with all of this comes yet another path to walk with God and for me to trust completely in His plan for my life and the lives of my family. I cannot say that it was an easy decision to make, but I am thankful beyond words that He has allowed it to be a peaceful decision.

In His Service,

Monday, June 20, 2011

God you are so amazing...

Just one post ago I was wanting to hold my boys....God you are so amazing because not only did you save my sinful also gave me the desires of my heart. This past Friday I got a call asking if we would watch the boys overnight ....Thank you God for your continued love I am beyond humbled to be a child of the one true King...and Yes we got to love and squeeze three amazing little boys once again.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

One of Those Days. . .

I know that God sees my tears and feels the pain that unexpectedly grips my heart. I know He feels the longing I have to hold our boys again. I know all of this . . . and yet sometimes it is still so difficult for me to accept His plan. . . . yet I will continue to trust Him even when I do not know where that trust will lead because I know that following Him on an unknown path is far better than trying to forge my own path.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Falling Short . . .

I am trying to see God's grace through this time but to be honest it is very difficult and I feel like I am failing most of the time. I want to rejoice in this trial, but how do I stop my heart from crying out for my boys? I want my little guys back to give me just one more hug . . . to hear them running to the door yelling "Daddy's home!" . . . to see them dancing and spinning with their "Sissy" . . . to hear them flying planes through the house with their "Wah-Wah". I want to see my baby take his first step and to taste his 1st birthday cake this Friday. I want him to wake me up one more night . . . . Just one more night . . .

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Waiting . . .

I think this is the most difficult part of any trial that God leads you through . . . the waiting. Waiting on His timing . . . leading . . . direction . . . and resting in the fact that tomorrow the sun with rise and by His grace alone you will be able to rejoice in yet another day.

I heard back from the lawyer and he is hoping to hear from the judge tomorrow regarding his decision about permissive placement. Part of me wants so desperately just to know and move forward and a bigger part of me just wants this time to stand still and hold onto them forever.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psalm 143:8

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A New Path . . .

I have struggled as to whether I wanted to write about this and I have actually started other posts, but couldn't finish them, but I want this time in my life to be a time when I rejoice in what God is doing not what I wanted Him to do.

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:1-5

11 months ago on July 17, 2010 we received 3 amazing little guys into our lives. It was followed by much fear, tears, laughter, hugs, kisses, crying, and patience. It was a time in our lives that God used to show us areas in our own lives that we were failing at, and still are, and a time for our family to be challenged. I watched my two AMAZING children step up and sacrifice their time, space, and parents to give to 3 little boys who needed us for a season in their life. I watched a 3 year old look up to my son as the big brother he needed in his life. I watched my daughter become "little mommy" and change diapers, feed bottles, and kiss boo-boos. Were their struggles - most definitely, but God once again showed His mercy and grace and we began to see not just 3 lives changing, but 7 lives being molded and shaped by God's own hands.

But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Isaiah 64:8

When we began the fostering/adoption journey, I realized that just like not being in control of having our own biological children, I was no more in control of what would happen at the end of this path. People have often told us that they could never foster because they could never give them back, but now as this path comes to an end, I could not imagine not walking down it - not being their for 3 slobbery, running nose, precious, amazing little guys.

And now as we journey through this final week I think . . . did I love them enough, did I take enough time with them, will they remember this time, can I let them go because as much as I know that they were only ours for a few precious moments, there is still a very real part of me that cries out "these are my boys and I don't want to let them go." Yet once again God's unimaginable love shines through and I realize that no matter what tomorrow brings, He is and will always be faithful to me today. So I will grab every hug, cherish every kiss, remember every "I love you mommy", and pray with more fervor that He will change the life of a mother who will be receiving the most precious gift she could ever hope to get - another chance at being these little guys' mommy.

Today in junior church (Noah is in our class - what a lucky kid right?) we asked for prayer requests and my son's prayer request was that his mom would not be sad this week as the boys go home and that I wont cry too much . . . my sweet, amazing, loving boy - I cannot promise there will be no tears, but I will try to rejoice in what God has done in our lives these past 11 months.

Friday, November 19, 2010

It was only a matter of time. . .

So I knew that it was only a matter of time before one of the kiddos ended up with a real emergency (other than an ear infection or strep) . . . well wouldn't you know who it would be.

The boys were suppose to be going camping with the scout troop, but instead Bob spent his evening at Urgent Care with Sis-aroo. I was in the bedroom folding clothes - the kids were running around the house playing hide and seek - and I heard Noah ask Avery if she was alright and then Avery start to cry a little bit. The next thing I know Noah is SCREAMING and running into the bedroom that Avery is hurt bad. I run out and find Avery sitting on the bench in the dinning room holding her foot and blood is dripping from her foot and splattering on the floor. Noah is completely freaked out - Avery is crying (which is sooooo not her) and the boys are getting upset. I send Noah outside to get Bob who is trying to pack for the camp out - I try to look at her foot to see how bad it is, but by this time it was stinging and hurting pretty bad. I could tell that it was cut pretty deep from the amount of blood, but couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from. We wrapped her foot up - Bob loaded her in the car - and off they went.

I called a million times (at least I'm sure it felt like that to my poor husband) - I am such a mom, they didn't even get to Urgent Care before I called to see if they had seen her yet. By this time she was her normal Avery self - chattering in the back seat. They finally got in to see the doctor and I got a phone call from Avery.
"Hello......Hi Mom. Guess what I'm getting? A manicure."
"Do you mean a pedicure? Who is doing that?"
"The nurse."
"Know what else? I got wrapped up in warm blankets right out of the dryer."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm good Mom. Is Noah there?"
"Yes, but let me talk to your Dad".

So according to Daddy - they gave her 4 numbing shots, which she didn't even cry one tear over - Bob said she sat there and held his hand and breathed through her nose and out through her mouth like the perfect patient. The doctor came back in and now she has 6 stitches in her foot. We have to take her back next week to get them out, so hopefully getting them out will be as easy as getting them in.

This is the picture Bob took when she was getting her "pedicure".

Okay - I have officially had a full day and am going to try and relax a bit before putting two little munchkins to bed and before my girl gets home with her wonderful Daddy.


A Mother's Fear . . .

As a mom it is going to be difficult to let my children go into this world, not because I don't think they are prepared, but because I know what this world is and the evil in it. I think most moms fear this for their children. Yet, we as Christians are called to once again step out on faith and trust God for the leading and guidance of our children. However, if I am to be completely honest with you, I do wait for this day with a great deal of anticipation and anxiety. Every birthday that passes, I am reminded that I am one year closer to releasing my precious children into their future of sorrow, joys, heartache, and laughter.

I have a picture of every holiday having them safe and sound at home with everyone gathered together enjoying old memories and making new ones. I see grandbabies bouncing and playing and the joy of our love filling the house. I see them traveling to grandma's house to bake cookies and eat lots of unhealthy stuff (you know like their grandmas do now). That is why it was so hard for me to hear the words of my son a week ago . . .

Noah: "Mom, can I tell you something?"
Me: "Sure." (I have come to realize that anything can follow this question.)
Noah: "Mom, I think that God is calling me to the southern part of Africa."
(He literally said the southern part . . . when did he grow up on me?)
Me: (tears beginning to form . . . silent prayer) - hmmm okay God how do I teach my son to trust your leading if I am not willing to do it myself. "Well, He just might be."
Noah: "I think that He wants me to go and be a missionary there and Mom this is the hardest part . . . "
Me: (tears still there) .. . . how could anything be harder than those words for me to hear. "What's that?"
Noah: "I think He is telling me that I am going to have a wife and she is going to come with me."
Me: (smiling with tears) "That wont be the hard part buddy."

* * * Fast Forward two days - sitting at the drive-up window at the bank * * *

Noah: "Mom, I need to tell you something."
Me: ohhhh nooooo - not again. (another silent prayer)
Me: "What's that buddy?" Looking back I see tears pouring down my son's cheeks.
Me: "What's the matter Noah?"
Noah: "I can't tell you right now." (a few moments pass)
Noah: "Mom, I just feel like God is saying to go to Africa now, like He wants me to drop everything and just go."
Me: (starting to cry) "Well honey, God knows that you can't go right now."
Noah: "But I feel like that is what He is telling me to do; that there are people there that need me now."
Me: "Noah, God isn't going to send you to Africa or anywhere else until He has prepared you to go and right now you are still too young. Maybe there is something else you can do to help."
Noah: "Like what?"
Me: "Well I'm not sure right now, but there are lots of things that you can do right here to help. We will have to look for something we can do to help from here."

God, you know every spec of dust upon this earth that You alone have created with your very hands and heart. Father, help me to trust You in the leading and guidance of my son. Help me Father that I will look to your design and plan for my son and not my own selfish desires. Father, open my eyes to the eternal importance of the life you have breathed into Noah and realize that no matter how great my love is for him, that yours is vastly deeper. I pray even now that you will prepare not only his heart but my heart so that I will encourage and lead him to walk in your will alone.

And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. Psalm 9:10

Where does she get it from. . . .

She has to be one of the silliest girls I know. . . but the question is . . . . Where does she get it from?

For years I have blamed Bob and for the most part I still do, but I have to admit there may be a slight, albeit, a very slight, more like a fraction of a sliver of a chance, that she maybe - just maybe got a little bit of it from me. . .

Have a wonderful afternoon everyone - Lisa

Playing Catch-up . . . Noah's Birthday Party

Okay so I am just over 4 months late on getting these up here, but I really do have a good reason . . . . lets see . . . . well we did get 3 more kids two days after the party - Does that count? Okay not for the grandparents I know. . . but late or not here you go.

This year Noah wanted a Lego Party - so what could a mama do, but to grant that one small wish - only it ended up being quite an undertaking (all due to my own doing of course). So I will block out the 12 hours it took to make the cake - or the 3 days it took designing, printing, and making all the goodies - or the trembling hands as I prayed to God that Bob did not hit a bump to hard as I held on for dear life to the cake as we transported it across town. I will forget all of that for this one thing . . .

My son had a GREAT 10th Birthday and lets face it - you only get to the 2 digits once in your life.

So here is the cake, what you can't see is the real Legos holding up the back as it began to pull away from the cake due to the 5 pounds of modeling chocolate. I made each of the bricks by hand by cutting out rectangles and then placing 8 small dots on top and "smooshing" them down a bit.

Here is a picture of the marshmallow Lego heads - I wish I would have remembered to take a picture, but I decorated one to look like each person in the family. I must say that Bob's was the best with the goatee and glasses.

Here is the goody table. Each of the kids got a mini Lego car to build and then we built a race track so they could race them. One of the first games was to guess how many Legos were in the jar. Now I don't even remember, but I think there were like 350 or something like that . . . and yes I really did count all of them.

This has to be one of my favorite pictures. Xavi always cracks me up with his enthusiasm and his smile. Here you can see the badges that I made for each of the kids as well. They all were "Official Lego Builders".

I found the composition books at Wal-Mart for 25 cents a piece and they matched perfect with the Lego colors.

Here is a picture of the mini water bottles I did. It's not a really good pictures, but at least you can get the idea. On the back I put this "nutritional label".

This is what our daughter looks like when she doesn't get her way. . . . I think I would have picked a better place to pout than over the trash can, but I guess it fits her attitude.

Okay this is a much better picture . . . well not so much the picture, but better attitude in the picture.

All sisters need to help. . . right.

Oh the joy of being a boy with Legos.

I'm not sure what he was pointing at, but it was just too good not to include. LOVE the expression on his face.

I found Lego t-shirts at Wal-Mart (Avery is wearing the original shirt), but of course they wouldn't fit all of us, so I decided to cut out the front image and sew them on to larger t-shirts for the rest of us and then I took the Lego logo block at the bottom and sewed it onto our sleeve.

So there you have it - a lego party for my sweet 10 year old "not so little" boy.

Have a wonderful day everyone - Lisa

Friday, September 3, 2010

Happy Birthday My Love

I truly am a blessed woman to call this man my Husband. . . and I love hearing it and saying it every time. Today is Bob's 40th birthday and all joking aside I wish that it wasn't . . . We met when he (well actually we both were) still in our 20's and I cannot believe that time has gone by soooo fast. It makes me realize just how temporal our earthy bodies are and to be honest there is a part of me that cannot image this man not being right next to me, holding my hand, believing in me, and encouraging me through every challenge in life. Yet, I do take great comfort in knowing that we will always be together, although not as husband and wife, but as fellow believers with Christ in His glorious kingdom.

So for now I will cherish each day that God has planned for us to be together and rejoice in the knowledge that this amazing man of God . . .
this loving and patient husband . . .
this incredible father. . . .
this giving and sacrificing friend . . . is my beloved.

With all my heart, sweetheart, I wish you a very HAPPY Birthday ! !

Love - LJ

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Heart is Full . . .

It is quiet here in the house tonight - something that has become quite the rarity of late. For those of you who have not heard, our home enlarged by 3 amazing and very rambunctious boys. Yes, for years now Noah has been asking and praying for a "brother". Well 3 weeks ago God answered that prayer (in a way) and blessed our home with 3 little guys. When we started the foster/adoption process we did not know where it would lead - we just knew that it was what God had placed on our hearts to do. So by faith we trusted Him and once again began the process with classes, training, paperwork, home studies, finger prints, and lots of prayer.

Well we now know a little more of God's plan and what He wanted for our family, but to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I was ready for it. I mean how do you prepare yourself for a phone call that says "We possibly have 3 little guys coming into care this weekend and need to know if you will take them." Hmmmm - emergency phone call to Bob, stomach in knots, palms sweating, and then peace of knowing that this is what we had spent the last 2 months preparing for. Yes we will take them - and then they were here and I was scared to death. I mean I was COMPLETELY terrified of these little guys. I know my poor husband thought I had lost it - but for some reason I was just overwhelmed with emotions. I was scared that we had made a wrong decision - I was afraid that I would fail these little guys and make their life even more uncertain - I was terrified that I would forget how to be a Mom to my own 2 amazing children - I had taken my eyes from God and placed them on self and what I was capable of doing and what I wanted rather than what God was capable of doing and what He wanted. So after feeling overwhelmed and putting in a transfer for the little guys after only 2 days - God began to change my heart like only He can and something AMAZING happened - I actually felt peace and joy about what God had brought into our lives. Now don't get me wrong, it has still been a struggle - but I can honestly say that I am so thankful for God's plan rather than my plan.

People have been so amazing to step up and give of their time. We have had so many people stop by and just sit with the boys or with us. Not to mention the meals people prepared, the clothes and baby supplies people have bought. Once again God just opened His arms and said "These are my people and I will use them to bless you and your family" - and that is exactly what they did. So I want to say "THANK YOU ! ! " to all of you who have prayed and have given of your time to shower these little guys with so much Love.

Some of you have been asking if there is anything that we need and honestly God has provided in unbelievable ways.

- I got the kids' rooms switched over. Avery had the larger room so we needed to put her in Noah's room and give the 4 boys that room.
- God provided bunk beds with a detachable ladder so Noah could have the top bunk and the 2 year old could have the bottom.
- We also were able to find dressers that would fit in the room since we have 4 boys in one room every inch of space counters (literally) and so we found a narrow taller dresser which fit between the wall and one of the cribs and a tall larger chest of drawers which fit between the bunk beds and wall.
- Our other issue was a vehicle. Our car only fit 6 and since we now have 7 people in our family the math just didn't add up . . . so Bob drove to St. Louis the last 2 Saturdays and was able to purchase us a used Expedition that will hold 8 and has a working air conditioner (YEAH!!!)

So life is beginning to return to order after once again having the house in disarray
- Sterilite containers are lining the closets
- Diapers and wipes are stock piled in the boys' closet (yes we go through A LOT of diapers in a day - size 4 - size 3 - size 1 and don't forget the overnight diapers since they are boys and they seem to pee out of every other diaper at night)
- Clothes are organized and put away (put drawers do not have labels because Bob said I wasn't allowed to label their drawers . . . how completely wrong is that I ask you - doesn't he know that labels and Sterilite containers make me happy)
- Avery's room is coming together
- I can now see our laundry room floor
- and our home is once again feeling like a home rather than a disaster zone.

So that is our life right now - I know some of you have asked to see a picture, but unfortunately we are not allowed to publish pictures of the boys on-line, so you will just have to take my word for it that they are adorable little guys that will melt your heart. Please continue to pray for these little guys and their mom and dad. It is a sober realization when you stop and think just how hard it must be for these little guys to be taken from everything they have ever known and dropped into a place and with people you know nothing about or have never even seen before in your life. They have done remarkably well, but it is going to be a long road for these little guys. So thank you again for everything you have done.

In Christ's service - Lisa